Richard Gomez Says That the Days of Machismo Are Over



Richard Gomez, along with his wife Lucy, speaks up about how caring for one’s self through Ultherapy® crushes the macho stereotype and how this has transformed his lifestyle and relationships.

Love moves in mysterious ways. It’s an emotion that’s often associated with soft imagery, famously linked with words such as “tender” and “care”. But such emotion can also give people a rush of fiery sensations. Expressing love is also complex. People communicate their feelings through various love languages such as sharing kind words, doing acts of service, or even bestowing small tokens. It can be as simple as exchanging smiles and giving each other a tight embrace, or making a quick call just to check up on a loved one– both of which I witnessed during a conversation with Richard Gomez as he shared stories of his daily life.

Always finding the perfect balance

As a man who wears multiple hats, every day is a busy day in the life of Richard. Even right before we sat down to begin our chat, he had to answer a quick business call. There seems to be no rest for a man who’s a public servant, a veteran actor, a president of a national sports group, a patron of the arts, and a loving family man. “I wake up early in the morning and I go straight to work. Every day is a full day at the city hall, and I get to sign tables of documents every day. [When] I’m done with work for the day, I do other things: I play, I exercise, or I visit our people [in the city].” But when the stress starts to build up, Richard likes to work up a sweat through exercise or take a nature walk to the mountains. 

More than his physical health, keeping his mental health in check is just as important. His face lit up upon the mere mention of mental health care. “I have one or two people who I talk to and that’s where I dump all my stress. I have my shock absorbers,” he said. 

He’s also an avid painter, creating masterpieces during quiet hours or restless nights as a form of mental cleansing. “When I’m painting, I don’t think of anything. I just focus on painting–I don’t think about politics, I don’t think about acting, [nothing].”

Finding the perfect balance between physical and mental health care is important in his busy life as it enables him to engage in all his passions. For Richard, this is how he is able to stay in tip-top shape. “I think what’s very important is that you’re healthy. When they say ‘health is wealth’, it’s true. No matter how much money you have, if you’re not healthy, money can’t buy you health. You really have to take good care of yourself if you want to be able to move around, to travel, and to be able to socialize.”

Gone are the days of a macho society

As he was giving pointers on how to live a more active life, he spotted his good friend approaching from the distance. Richard stood up and gave his friend a tight hug. While regaining his train of thought, he apologized for the interruption. I didn’t mind; I just experienced Richard’s genuine affection. It was something he wasn’t afraid to express. His love for others is palpable, and he remains unfazed by the looming stigma of machismo, believing that people should express themselves as they are without any societal dictation.

Richard states, “Different people have different manners, styles, and attitudes. Men cannot be stereotyped–you have to know them. Like me, when people see me, they think I’m [arrogant], “Ang lakas naman ng dating niyan.” (He seems so arrogant.) Maybe they’re just seeing my confidence, but inside, I’m soft and I’m nice to people. I think you just have to take people as they are. Sometimes, people are just [pretending to be manly] but they are the ones who aren’t manly at all.” Being tough does not mean you have to neglect caring for yourself; it is through this self-care where you build the foundation for your moxie. As reflected in Richard’s life, taking care of yourself and expressing your emotions does not make you less macho.

Love is a two-way street for the Gomez couple

There’s no denying that Richard has a soft spot for his friends and family. Just as his wife Lucy Gomez joined our conversation, his demeanor changed: he loosened up a bit and even cracked a little joke. He even took some time off to contact their daughter, Juliana, to ensure she landed safely after a long flight. Their relationship is not just a marriage of their commitment, but also of their personalities. Richard explained, “When I was young, I was very feisty and had this certain level of arrogance. [Lucy] taught me to choose my battles. She calms me down. She has a soft heart.”

It has been a give-and-take relationship for Richard and Lucy. Their contrasting upbringing led them to influence each other’s character. For Lucy, her spiritual roots met the pragmatic mindset of her spouse. She had grown comfortable with her deep sense of faith through constant prayer as blessings come and go. However, she was taught to act otherwise. “[Richard] taught me to balance my life that as you pray for things to happen, you also have to work to make those things happen. [You can’t just keep on praying], waiting for [what you want] to land on your lap.” In the same way, Lucy was able to inspire Richard to invest in himself: his health, his looks, and his personal endeavors.

Love yourself so you can love somebody else

Their chemistry would not be possible without the love and service they have devoted to themselves. It is through these experiences that they are able to grow as a couple. Their stories made me recall the popular adage: “If you can’t love yourself, then how can you love somebody else?” As I mentioned this, Richard and Lucy agreed that it has become a guiding principle for the both of them.

“You cannot give what you don’t have, so you constantly have to welcome pockets of opportunities every day to fill yourself. You just have a few hours of the greatness of doing [something else] because for the whole day, you’re already doing [work],” said Lucy. Richard echoed her statement: “You have to love yourself for you to be able to love others. [It’s hard when] you love others but you hate yourself. More than that, you also have to take care of yourself. Sometimes, when you think of other people, you watch over them too much and forget about yourself, your health, and the way you look.”

Taking care of their appearance has always been Richard and Lucy’s priority. Richard said it best when he explained how in his line of work, especially when he’s in front of cameras, looking good is an investment. As a couple, their work and lifestyle have made them more aware of the effects of aging, and they both found a solution for this in Ultherapy®. Richards says, “Ultherapy® is very important [for me] especially at my age. [I’m starting to] get lines and wrinkles already. With Ultherapy®, it really firms up my face. It diminishes wrinkles I have. [It’s like I became younger by] 20 years.”

Richard and Lucy believe that self-love begets self-respect. “Vanity is a form of self-respect: respect for yourself, and respect for others. How would you feel if you meet somebody and [see that they didn’t make an effort to look good]?” says Lucy. When they were approached to represent the brand, they agreed that Ultherapy® is indeed a perfect fit for their lifestyles as public figures. Lucy explains, “Our work is very purposeful but it can also be stressful. We’re forever dealing with people [in person and on] social media. If it’s a busy day, at least we look good while we’re being busy. [Even if life is stressful, we don’t have to look like it].” It can get tiring working a full-time job and running a household at the same time, but Lucy shows no signs of stress as her skin looks refreshed and glowing despite the years of work gone by.

But showing off their best self through Ultherapy® isn’t just for the eyes of the general populace. “I always say that every couple, whether you’ve been together for a year or fifty years, you should never stop being attractive for each other. Never forget what brought you together in the first place. Never wake up thinking that “Hindi na ako magaayos, asawa ko lang makakakita sa akin.” (I won’t fix myself anymore, it’s just my husband who will see me.) All the more [you should],” says Lucy.

Richard and Lucy have dedicated their lives to break boundaries and be agents of change. They continuously show that they can choose to express the best versions of themselves through self-love and self-respect. As we concluded our conversation, Richard and Lucy coincidentally mentioned in unison, “Choose to love every day,” reaffirming their commitment to themselves, to each other, and to their communities.